Before You Start: What Kind of Relationship Do You Want?

Before you start looking for dating sites, make sure you’re on the kind of dating site that suits YOU best.

This might not be as easy as you think. Dating sites cater to a variety of needs, and can’t help you fulfill your goals unless you know exactly what those dreams and needs are.

Are you looking for a relationship?

Then find the best relationship site for you. Although, relationships are quite a bit of work, they can definitely be worth it in the end, if you’re looking for that sort of thing. Make sure you know the pros and cons of looking for a relationship.

You’ll be privy to the comfort, security, and lasting affection that comes with getting into a long-term relationship (or even a short-term relationship), which can be a very large point in a relationship’s favor.

You may find, however, that a relationship is more taxing and draining than you currently want. Relationships require time, effort, and money, although not so much that they’re unachievable for pretty much any bloke, no matter how unfit he may think himself.

You may not want to put in the effort into calling to check in when you go out, into buying gifts for birthdays and anniversaries that you may or may not remember, and into being at least partially responsible for someone else’s emotional well-being.

There’s no shame in that.

The only shame is in acting like you want a relationship just to get a woman into bed. You don’t have to, since there are many women who are looking to meet up for sex.

There’s nothing wrong with looking for girls to have sex with and nothing more.

All men have needs. That’s no secret to us or to the women we spend time with. If you want a relationship, fine. There are plenty of women in the UK and elsewhere that would love to get into a relationship that lasts days, weeks, months, or forever.

If you’re just looking for some human companionship for the evening—or the fittest bird at the bar—there’s nothing wrong with that, either.

If you’re just looking for sex, be honest about it. You should make sure to let women know this in your profile or in a message at some point if any of the following are true:

You don’t think you have time for a relationship (busy schedule, travel for work)
You don’t think you want to be responsible for a relationship
You prefer the option of meeting up with many different women for sex rather than just having sex with one woman
You don’t want the intimacy and affection of a relationship, just the immediate gratification of sexual intercourse

If any of those are true about you, make sure you let any women going after you know that you’re only looking for sex, and you’re not into starting any kind of relationships.

One can evolve into the other.

If you think you might be open to either a sex-only relationship OR to a more long-term relationship, consider letting it evolve naturally. You don’t have to define exactly what you’re looking for if you don’t mind what you get either way it turns out.

You could start by looking for a relationship, but discover that you aren’t very compatible as anything other than occasional sex partners—and that’s fine, not every relationship works out the way you intend for it to work out, 100 percent of the time.

More commonly, you could start by meeting a woman for sex, and discover that you’re more compatible than you ever imagined. Like we said, this is fairly common.

Sex can turn into dates.

You don’t have to let any sexual partner you have become your girlfriend. You can meet women for casual sex once, or meet them for casual sex many times, without allowing them to become your girlfriend.

However, you CAN let a sex date turn into a real date—and you CAN let that happen over and over. If something eventually comes out of it, you’ll wind up surprised and hopefully pleased.

If not, no loss. Just keep yourself open unless you have a good reason not to.