There’s good sex, there’s great sex, there’s okay sex, and then there’s sex that makes you want to crawl under your bed and never face the world again. Knowing how to blow a woman’s mind in bed takes practice and patience, but avoiding terrible mistakes on your part is comparatively simpler.
Not Grooming Yourself
An easy enough starting point, and one that should be well within your abilities to control. This of course applies to the obvious – shower. Be even more thorough than you usually are, especially around areas like your underarms, your junk, and arse. While you’re in the shower, trim your pubes. Don’t go overboard – women generally don’t like the Ken doll look, but they also don’t like being lost in a dense hairy jungle. Just like you’d expect a woman to keep herself neat and clean, extend her the same courtesy. She’s a lot more likely to give you a blowjob if she’s not concerned about having hairballs after.
Not Spending Time on Foreplay
It’s simply a matter of fact that women are slower to arouse than men; you cannot expect her to orgasm from penetration alone. And why would you want to rush to the finish line when you have such a lovely teammate to reach it with?
There is no blanket foreplay strategy that works on all women – their tastes on how they like to be touched differ, and you’ll need to experiment with her to see what she wants. But, there are some general tips that can be a good starting point. While her breasts and pussy are wonderful things to pay attention to, don’t overlook the less obvious ways to get her going – kiss along her neck, stomach (don’t bite unless explicitly encouraged to; even if she enjoys it, she may have a reason to want to avoid hickeys), and down her inner thighs. Now that you’re in the area, even if you’re not confident enough or keen to go down on her, she will be perfectly happy with your fingers. Generally, rubbing gentle circles around her clit is the way to go – keep an eye on her reactions. If she wants it harder, she’ll tell you.
Being too Quiet
Even if you’re reserved in your day-to-day life, when a lady is with you in bed, let her know that her efforts are appreciated. Loud, ridiculous porn star moaning is out – it sounds fake and will probably just offend her or make her start laughing. Go with soft grunts or groans, a “that feels so good”; it’s better than dead silence.
Acting Like You’re in a Porn
As noted above, keep the ridiculous moaning to a minimum unless it’s genuine. Additionally, don’t expect a woman to appreciate you yanking on her hair to drag her head up and down during a blowjob, or spanking her out of nowhere, or going overboard on the dirty talk – all of these things are enjoyed by some women, but not all, and communication is the key if you want to try them. So always ask first.
Cumming too Soon/Taking too Long
If you don’t tend to last long, spend a longer time on foreplay to bring her closer – and be prepared to finish her off after you’re done with your fingers or mouth. It’s not gentlemanly to leave a lady hanging. Conversely, if she’s already come, and you’re nowhere close, pull out and have her finish you off. Pounding away at her after she’s done will only hurt her.