Dating Tip #2: Introducing Her To Your Friends
Meeting women online is usually the easy part. It gets tricky when it’s time to bring her into the rest of your life. It’s unavoidable: if you really like a woman, you’re going to have to introduce her to your friends.
A lot of men are resistant to this idea. They think that it’s easier to keep their birds and mates separate. We’re not even saying that they’re all entirely wrong, either.
It is much easier to keep your love life and your friend life separate, at least at first. If you’re not sure this woman is going to be sticking around for a while, you’re going to want to hold off on introducing her to your friends…or so many men believe.
The issue is that there are two ways you can introduce a woman to your friends: the right way, and the wrong way.
The wrong way is to bring your girl to a place that she’s going to feel out of place, feel like a burden, or feel like she doesn’t belong in the group of people that are suddenly surrounding her. You want to avoid this at all costs, for her sake and for yours.
Here are some places you shouldn’t bring your girl for the FIRST introduction to your friends:
A big holiday meal
An important anniversary, birthday, or occasion
Somewhere none of your mates have ever brought a bird (like Boy’s Night)
You like this woman, and you want her to stick around as long as possible. The best way to make sure that happens is to make sure that she wants to spend more time with you, whether your friends are around or not.
Bringing her someplace like a holiday meal or a big traditional get-together will make her feel left out. Even if you don’t intend it, she’ll feel like the awkward sore thumb, and like the only brand-new one even if everyone is being perfectly kind and well-behaved.
Your mates knew this was coming.
They might rib you about it a bit, but your mates are your mates for a reason, we assume. They likely knew that you were looking for a relationship for some time now. If not, there’s probably a reason you were keeping it from them, and you might want to re-think whether you should introduce them to your girl.
But likely, they all knew you’ve been looking for relationships for a long time. Unless you’re not close at all, you’ve probably mentioned this girl to your friends several times. They probably want to meet her by now, just to see if she’s as excellent as you say.
The best time for your girl to meet your friends is in a casual, regular setting. If you all hang out once a week, once every two weeks, or every so often, ask if you can bring your girl along one night.
Yes, you should ask first, even if it’s just an evening of meeting up at the pub. You won’t know for sure what’s going on with your friends before you ask. One of them might have gotten fired, another might want to bring HIS date along for the first time, and it’s just polite to make sure that no one is going to have a problem with meeting your girl that evening.
If you get the green light, great! Now work on what you want to talk to your girl about before they all meet.
She’ll be nervous.
It’s natural for a girl to be nervous about meeting her man’s friends for the first time. While YOU know that Will and Stewart and Ethan aren’t anything to feel nervous about, they’re not just random blokes to her. She wants you to be happy, and she wants you to feel good about keeping her around. That means she’s going to want this evening to go very well, which can be quite nerve-wracking for a woman.
Tell her they already know about her.
Don’t let her think she’s going into this blind, or without any support. Let her know that you’ll be with her all evening, and stay true to that promise. Many good relationships have been ruined because of this first meeting. Don’t leave her on her own for this night, and don’t make any fun of her to have a laugh with your mates.
That’s a GREAT way to get yourself single again quickly.
Make sure your girl knows that all your friends want to meet her, and that they’re going to love her. She’s an important part of your life now, and you want to share that with other important parts of your life.
With any luck, all of the pieces will come together, and you won’t have to get a new girlfriend OR new friends.