Any “firsts” can be tough. You probably remember your first girlfriend, your first date, and the first time any of your relationships grew serious. The key to a great first message on a dating site is to keep your tone friendly but not overly casual and to be subtle with your desires while not being too vague. The guidelines for what should be included in your first message on a dating or hookup website are similar to the unspoken guidelines for sexting. No one likes unsolicited sex messages, even if you’re on a site geared towards dating and hookups. Sending a woman a message asking for sex right off the bat is like sending an unsolicited, unwanted picture of your dick. You just shouldn’t do it. This tells the woman that you’re tacky, pushy and have no sense of manners whatsoever, and that is the exact opposite of how you want to appear to her.
The Right Tone
It all starts off with the greeting. Using “Dear [Woman’s Name]” sounds too formal, but saying “Yo” or “Hey” is too casual. Besides, think about it. Do you actually use those in normal conversation? If your answer is no, don’t use them in your message to her. Just a simple “Hello” is usually the best option for the opening of your message to the woman you’re trying to talk to, unless the site’s messaging service offers a pre-written greeting. After that, you’ll want to keep the rest of your message polite, cordial and not too formal, but not the way you’d talk to someone you have been friends with for years. You shouldn’t be trying to throw all three of your favorite party jokes in one single message or she’ll think you’re tacky. However, make your tone too formal and react just as poorly. Thinking your message was sent by a scam profile (We suggest you to read more about dating scam) or that you won’t show her the kind of good time she wants, she’ll ignore your message and move on to the others in her inbox.
Say What You Want
Just saying hello and introducing yourself isn’t the only purpose of the first message. You also have to let her know what you’re looking for. Most men don’t think it’s necessary to include a short description of what they want because well, after all, it’s listed on their profile. Unless you can say something to really catch their interest, there’s no guarantee that they’ll visit your profile and read up on you. Your message should have a nice greeting, a proper tone, and what you’re looking for. Are you seeking a woman to start a serious relationship with? Say that you’re looking to get to know her because from her profile, she seems like someone you could really get along with. If you’re just looking for something more casual, even if you’re on a purely hookup site, let her know that. Say that you’re looking for someone to hang out with so you can blow off some steam. Just the subtle difference in those messages will make your first message to her a success.