Do you remember the song? “If you want to be my lover…” The truth is, if you want to fit with a woman for any length of time, you need to have a good name with her friends. That can be difficult if her friends already don’t like you. If these friends resent her more, you have got an uphill battle ahead of you. Still, there are some things that you can do that will drastically improve your reputation with them.

Try to Associate With Your Girlfriend’s Friends on Your Terms

“Decide the time and venue according to your convenience”

If you know that they’re not going to be thrilled to see you, there’s a pretty good chance that you aren’t going to be thrilled to see them, either. For that reason, try to pick when and where you’ll come into contact with them. For example, going out to a group dinner will be a lot less stressful than having them all come over and sit around your living room for an unknown number of hours this weekend. If you’re the one who’s making plans, you can pick days and times that work for you, and thus make the whole experience easier to deal with.

Try to focus the times that you do have to deal with them around an activity. A meal together, or a movie, or something of that nature provides something to focus on that’s not them, and also sets a natural time limit for when your time together will be over. You can only linger over coffee for so long before the dinner is concluded and you can go your separate ways again.

Always be on Your Best Behavior Around Them

“Keep your conversations to general topics when you meet her friends”

This may seem like the most obvious advice, but it’s easy to slip up if your girlfriend has really annoying friends. The point of trying to control the situation and limit the time you spend around them is that you can keep yourself together for that length of time. Stubbornness isn’t going to work here; butting heads with your girlfriend’s best friend isn’t going to make her see what an annoying person she’s friends with. So just do what you have to do to get through without giving her friends anything to use against you.

A good way to think of this is to court her friends. Treat your girlfriend’s friends the way you would treat your girlfriend, except the romance. Take a deep breath and sit through them talk about their day at work; be polite and be interested. You don’t have to carry it as far, but as a man you have already developed the coping skills you need to deal with women. Just activate them in a new situation.

Trying to force a woman to get rid of the bad friends in her life is more likely to result in a split between the two of you. It’s not worth the drama in the relationship to attempt to initiate a friend-divorce, so sometimes you have no choice but to buckle down. A few meetings with a polite, generous you will either get them to sheath their claws, or reveal to your girlfriend how catty her friends really are being about you.